(no subject)

[second_banana]

So I've been told I don't update my journal enough and much ass-kicking may commence if I don't get in gear.

This term in school is kicking my ass. I am very frustrated with one of my teachers as she 1. doesn't know her audience and 2. manipulates us purposely in order to "teach us a lesson." These are two things I personally cannot stand when I am trying to become educated.

BUT. This term is almost over. In three weeks I will be done with my first year of midwifery school. I am very very proud of that. Starting on March 31 I will officially be a second year student. Wow.

Along with the school learning I will have to do a year long apprenticeship (can be done at any time, does not have to be in one go, and can be much much longer if you don't see so many births). At this moment in time I am open to the possibility, but not actively seeking. I am going to fill out the paperwork letting the school know I am looking, but right now if something falls into my lap that's great, but if it doesn't that's just as awesome.

Along with this term being frustrating as hell I've also been doing a bunch of hardcore inner work to try and work out some kinks in the Susan system. It's long hard work, but it's turning out well I think.

And since it has also been requested that I do this meme, I will.



Something you wish your mother or father had warned you about:
Monies. I was always told "don't worry about it, everything will work out" whenever there was money trouble. It's a great attitude, but I also never learned the ins and outs of how to save/budget and how to deal with loans/banks/credit stuff. I'm pretty good at it, but a few lessons on how all of this grown up nonsense works would not have been a bad idea.

Something that's holding you back from achieving your dreams:
The fucked up message I internalized that if I stay very very still and don't do anything than what good things I have will stay and the bad things won't come. (Did I mention I'm doing some internal work? Yeah. Working on this one big time.) That and good old fashioned fear.

Something you think you could win an award for:
Best cuddler. I tell ya, I got mad skills.

Something you fear more than anything:
Being found unworthy. (This is more related to worry that I won't be kind enough or compassionate enough than any general sense of I suck.)

Something that keeps you going everyday:
My inherent belief that there is good and evil in everyone and that I am not the one called to make judgment.

Something amazing that happened last summer:
I went on a mini-road trip to visit my best friend in Medford and I also met up with an old friend from high school. Both were pretty dang awesome.

Something you hate that people say:
Using gay in a derogatory manner. I am also highly frustrated by the bi-phobia of both the het and queer communities.

Something you refuse to pay money for:
Friendship.

Something you learned that stands out about last year:
Toxemia is a metabolic disorder resulting from liver malfunction leading to contracted blood volume due to liver malfunction.

Also, one of the reasons babies startle and fuss when put on their backs is that they aren't used to having to deal with gravity pulling their arms away from their bodies. When their arms flail against gravity it startles and spooks them.

Something you like that everyone else thinks is weird:
Placentas. Except that's kind of normal in my RL. With the school type folks it might be more along the lines of absolutely loving open honest conversations about sex and intimacy.

Something that makes you laugh every time you think about it:
Viggo Mortensen at the Oscars covering Cate Blanchett's belly with his football flag. So damn adorable.

Something you do when you're trying to calm down:
I try to get in water. I take a bath or a shower. Reading porn helps too. ;)

Something you do when you wake up at three AM:
Ummm... I'm usually up at 3 am. I really don't wake during my sleep cycle though.

Something you love doing on cold rainy days:
Cuddling, sleeping, reading, making a blanket fort/nest.

Something amazing you want to happen next year:
I want to take a trip to California this summer. I *will* be getting my tattoo fixed and two others this July. But nest year, as in 2009, I hope to be either in an apprenticeship or bulding relationships.

Something that you always run into/trip over:
The freaking stairs up to my apartment door. They are out to get me I tell you.

Something you're addicted to/can't stop doing:
Reading. And I am such a caffeine addict right now.

Something you had to give up but didn't want to:
My long nails. Not good for midwives.

Something that really stands out about you:
I really don't know. I think most people tend to remember how open I am to discussion and my lack of judgment (even when all they really wanted to do was bitch about how horrid their ex is).

Something about you that's like everyone else:
I'm unique just like everyone else. I guess I would have to say we all have our personal demons.

Something that really stands out about your last crush?
Passion and fire. Not directed at me.

Something that makes you change the channel?
Sexism.

Something that really turns you off?
Affectations in daily life.

Something that really turns you on?
Personal power. Kindness.

Something you wish you could change about your life:
I wish I had gone grocery shopping today. And that my case studies/protocols were done for school.

Something you think about every night before you go to sleep:
The last few days? That I really should put sheets on my bed. In general? Sun so bright. Need dark. (I work nights so I usually go to sleep when the sun is well up.)

Something that you don't think will ever change about you:
I'm compassionate and always looking to better understand myself and my loved ones.

Something about you that you think will soon change:
My state of consciousness.

Something that broke your heart as a child:
Moving away from my childhood home under horrible circumstances.

Something that really sparks your interest:
Human development. And nipples. I really have a thing for nipples.

Something that's on your mind right now:
Eric Bana. I saw The Other Boleyn Girl yesterday and I'm still mulling it over in my brain.

Comments

[elvensorceress.livejournal.com]

*huggles*

Nipples are fabulous.

Also? Jenwyn is tired and that's the most she can come up with.

And it's weird calling myself "she."

And I'm so vary proud of you.
*snuggles forever*

[second-banana.livejournal.com]

Nipples are fabulous. Sleep is important. You should get some. And so should I, damn it!

[heartofslash.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! You're well on your way.

I am with you on the showers and baths. In fact, I used to float. Yes - in an isolation tank, with the water and air at room temperature so the air/water line disappears and you are floating in the purest sense, gravity free. Ahhhhh. That's one weird trend from the late 80s/early 90s I wish would come back. I even earned a series of free floats when I wrote about floating while pregnant.

Aaaaannnd an the pregnancy/placenta front.... just because I want you to fall in love with me even more... I grow massive placentas. I mean gigantic, you could feed a family of four placentas. My midwives and doctors commented on that after both kids. Like 1.5 pounds or larger.

I realize that's not something most people would appreciate...

I have not seen the Other Boleyn Girl yet. I'm a little afraid. But I can tell from the adverts that Eric Bana is using something very close to the voice he used for Troy - his "I'm not entirely sure what accent he's doing but I want to hear him say dirty things in it" voice. That will be worth the price of admission.

[second-banana.livejournal.com]

I've wanted an isolation tank for years. Or at least a place I could go and float. That would be most excellent.

I am very impressed by your massive placentas. That's so cool! We've been able to examine placentas about three times in class and they are just freaking awesome.

Eric Bana is sex on legs in The Other Boleyn Girl. Seriously. He's all powerful and brooding. And kind of a childish asshole, but you get where he got it from. And good. sweet. LORD. does Henry come off as powerful and sexy as hell. (Even in his silly silly shoulder pads.)

A word or warning though, even though I loved the movie, there is a rape scene that isn't handled very well. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something about the way it was filmed just felt... off. It was really hard to watch in a "this takes me out of the movie and I am now uncomfortable" kind of way not a "damn, this is awful, but a powerful thing that happens and is horrifically plot relevant" kind of way. Ick.

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

his "I'm not entirely sure what accent he's doing but I want to hear him say dirty things in it" voice. That will be worth the price of admission.

That's it - I'm going on Wednesday. I cna't not go now. ;)

[salixbabylon.livejournal.com]

*hug* Sorry school's been difficult but I'm glad to hear that you're on the home stretch. I love seeing your posts on my list and finding out what you're up to. :)